On His Grave Page 16

Kristen smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  Though they were only going for one night, she’d packed enough changes of clothes and underwear to last a week. There was a pub about a mile’s walk from the cottage, where they planned to go for dinner and a couple of drinks before walking back again. Once they were back, she hoped they’d spend the rest of their time together in bed. It had been a long time since she’d felt like this about someone, and she tried to ignore the niggling voice in her head telling her not to get used to it. He was going home in a couple of months, and this would all be over, whether she liked it or not. There was no point in talking about long distance relationships either. Haiden was young and gorgeous, and he deserved better than being tied to a single mother in her thirties who lived a thousand miles away.

  She gave Ollie what she hoped would be a reassuring smile and ruffled his hair.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?” she asked Violet, anxious to be leaving without him.

  “Of course. We’re going to have loads of fun, aren’t we, Ollie? I’ve got some age inappropriate films for us to watch, and a bucket full of popcorn, and all washed down with ice-cream sodas.”

  “Yay!” Ollie cheered, clapping.

  “Well, you’re going to have fun with him when he’s climbing the walls,” Kristen said with a laugh.

  “I’m only kidding. We’re having sushi, and I’ll have him in bed by seven.”

  Kristen didn’t know which version to believe. “Okay, as long as you both have fun. That’s the main thing.”

  “We will, I promise.”

  “And you won’t forget to feed Lemmy, either?”

  Violet gave her an exasperated glare. “If I can remember to feed your son, I’m sure I can handle the cat.”

  Kristen gave Ollie another hug and a kiss and told him to be good, and then hugged her sister. Haiden was waiting beside the passenger side of the car. She turned and gave him a smile. He nodded in return and climbed into the passenger seat. The tyres were all new—or at least new to the car—so they were good to go.

  Since she was the only one on the insurance, Kristen drove. She watched her little family disappearing in the rear-view mirror, trying to quell her anxiety about leaving them, and then forced herself to focus on the road.

  The cottage was an hour’s drive away. As they increased the distance between her and home, she felt like she could finally breathe.

  “I can hardly believe we’re doing this,” she said, glancing over at Haiden’s profile as she drove. “It feels completely crazy.”

  He smiled over at her. “Nothing crazy about two people meeting and falling for each other.”

  “I know, but if you’d told me a few weeks ago, when you first stepped off the coach, that we’d be doing this, I would have told you that you’d lost your mind.”

  “No one’s lost their minds, Kristen.”

  “No, I know that.” His tone was strange. Was it because of what Violet had said about their mother and her mental health issues? He was just being protective of her, and probably didn’t want her to head down that same path.

  She glanced over at him again to make sure everything was all right, and he flashed her another of those perfect, white smiles. She was overthinking things, as usual. Reading too much into a simple, throwaway comment. But she did hope he didn’t think she was unstable at all.

  The car ate the miles, and before she knew it, they were off the motorway and onto the narrow, single lane tracks of the countryside. She slowed to cross over a grate designed to stop the wild ponies and sheep from leaving the moorland, and then had to pull in to allow another vehicle through that was coming in the opposite direction.

  “This is stunning,” she said, when she pulled back out again. There was no sign of houses, or any other kind of buildings, for that matter. Fluffy white clouds appeared painted onto the blue expanse of sky. Little copses of trees were dark patches against the yellow gorse of the moors.

  “Yes, it is. It’s not too far away from where you live, either. Do you not come up here much?”

  She shook her head. “No. I think we might have visited as children, but I can’t really remember. I don’t know this area at all.”

  “I think you’ll really love it. It’s totally secluded. It’ll just be the two of us for once, no one on the outside peering in.”

  “You said there’s a pub not far away.”

  “That’s right. It’s about a mile or so away, but it’s supposed to be a nice walk.”

  She laughed. “I think I can manage to walk a mile.”

  “And back again,” he pointed out.

  “As long as I don’t drink too much while we’re there, of course. Then you might have to carry me back.”

  He threw her a wink. “I think I can manage that.”

  The idea of him throwing her over his shoulder like some rough, big Viking gave her a little thrill of excitement. She was so lucky to be doing this, but with her happiness came a pang of guilt. It had been a long time since she’d taken any kind of holiday, even if it was only for one night, and she was doing it while her ex-husband was lying in a hospital bed.

  “I feel bad that we left Ollie behind,” she admitted. “He probably can’t even remember the last holiday we took.”

  Haiden reached out and took her hand. He squeezed her fingers, just a little too tight, and she frowned down at their joined hands. “You don’t have to worry about Ollie all the time, Kristen. You’re allowed to exist without him. We’re allowed to exist without him.”

  “Well, yes, but he is my son.”

  She pulled her fingers from his grip, and a little worm of unease wiggled through her. She dismissed it. Haiden was allowed to want her all to himself, wasn’t he? Of course, she and Ollie came as a package, and he’d been nothing but great with Ollie this whole time. But now they were supposed to be having a night away as a couple for the first time ever, and she could hardly blame him for getting irritated by going on about her son.

  “Sorry,” she said, throwing him an awkward smile. “I’ll stop mentioning Ollie all the time.”

  “No, it’s fine. He’s your son, I know that. I’m just being selfish for wanting you all to myself. Besides, you’re allowed to enjoy yourself without him and not feel guilty about it. I bet he’s having a brilliant time with Violet.”

  She exhaled a long sigh. “You’re right. I know you are.” Even so, she glanced down to where her phone sat in one of the cup holders. The reception was patching out here, but a bar flashed up, and there were no missed calls or messages. Haiden was right. Ollie was probably having the time of his life with her sister. It would be doing him good, too, to have her take his mind off everything.

  “We’re almost there,” Haiden said. “I think that must be the local pub.”

  She craned her neck to see a pretty, thatched pub with a river running through the gardens, picnic tables positioned outside. It was approaching lunchtime, and there were already a couple of cars in the car park. She had a sudden longing for a doorstep sandwich and half a pint of lager.

  They continued past, leaving her dreams of lunch behind her. She’d noticed Haiden had packed them a picnic, including a bottle of fizz, and she hoped they’d open it sooner rather than later.

  “I think we need to take the next turning,” he told her.

  She nodded, leaning over the steering wheel to make sure she spotted it. Sure enough, a narrow lane appeared on her right. She signalled, despite there being no other cars on the road, and took the turning.

  They followed the lane down. It grew even narrower, and she hoped they weren’t going to meet any cars coming the other way.

  “This feels like we’ve gone a lot further than a mile from the pub,” she said, suddenly concerned about how remote they were. She glanced back down at her phone to see the single bar she’d previously had vanished. That niggle of worry reappeared inside her.

  “You won’t be turning down my offer of carrying you, then,” he teased
her.

  She laughed but didn’t really feel it. “No, I guess not.”

  “Look, there it is!”

  Nestled in a small copse was the little cottage. It was single storey, with white stone walls and a red tiled roof. Rambling roses climbed across the front. There was a little patio with a round, iron table and chairs, with views across the rolling moorland.

  Her heart immediately lifted. “Oh, it’s beautiful.”

  Haiden grinned at her. “Told you.”

  She glanced down at the phone again to see the single bar had reappeared. “Does it have Wi-Fi?”

  “No, it doesn’t. We’re supposed to be switching off from the outside world, Kristen. Remember?” That hard tone had come back to his voice. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him.

  “Of course. Sorry.”

  “Maybe you should even leave your phone in the car,” he suggested.

  “I can’t do that. What if something happens at home?”

  “I’m sure Violet can deal with it.”

  But she shook her head. “No, I’m sorry, Haiden. I can’t do that. Just because we’re having a night together doesn’t mean I’m no longer Ollie’s mother.” She glanced to his pockets. “What about your phone?”

  “Oh, I left it at the house. I decided I didn’t need it. I’d rather focus on us.”

  That had felt like a dig, but she let it slide. “It’s just in case of emergencies.”

  “Of course.”

  They climbed out of the car, and she sucked in a lungful of sweet, clean air and immediately relaxed. “This is stunning.”

  “Yes, it is.” He marched towards the front door. “Now, he said the key would be left out here somewhere.”

  “He just left a key?”

  “Yeah, they don’t get many passers-by to worry about out here.”

  “No, I guess not.”

  She stood back while Haiden set about lifting plant pots and peering under the mat. “Umm, didn’t your friend tell you exactly where he’d left the key?”

  “They rent this place out, and he said that people tend to leave the key in random places, even though they’re instructed in where to put it when they leave.”

  “Oh, right.” She laughed. “That must be a nightmare for them trying to figure out where people have left it each time.”

  “Yeah, it—” He cut off and stooped down to pluck something out from under a little statue of a hedgehog. “Got it.”

  “Well done. We’ll have to put it somewhere else random when we leave,” she joked.

  He laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

  He opened the door, and they stepped into the cottage together. The place was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. The kitchen had natural wooden flooring and pale green painted units. Outside the windows were breathtaking views. She found the bedroom and smiled at the king-sized bed with white pillows and bedding. The whole place was light and airy, and her heart sang with happiness.

  Haiden came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He planted a kiss on her neck, right behind her ear, sending little shivers of pleasure through her.

  Her stomach, however, rumbled.

  “I heard that,” he growled against her earlobe.

  She twisted in his arms. “I am hungry.”

  “Good thing I brought food, then. Go into the kitchen, and I’ll bring the stuff in from the car. Have you got the keys?”

  “Sure.” She fished the car keys out of her pocket and handed them to him.

  She got to work, opening the fridge and some of the cupboards, seeing what had been provided. Other than some bottles of tomato sauce and mayonnaise in the fridge, and some half empty spices in the cupboards, the place was bare. There was a small fire extinguisher in the corner. She guessed they were so far out, with such narrow roads, the owners figured they wouldn’t be able to rely on a fire engine getting here quickly enough in case of a chip pan fire or something similar.

  Haiden bustled back in, carrying a cooler. He opened it and produced a bottle of champagne.

  “Oh, wow. I haven’t had real champagne in years.”

  “Only the best for you,” he said, tearing off the foil and popping the cork.

  “If we drink too much of this, we won’t be able to drive anywhere,” she pointed out.

  “That’s okay. I don’t think I want to go anywhere else, anyway. We have everything we need right here.”

  She took a sip of the champagne, bubbles going up her nose. Even from a couple of sips, she could already feel the alcohol going to her head. She didn’t drink much, so even the smallest amount affected her, plus she was drinking on an empty stomach.

  From the cool-box, Haiden pulled out baguettes, cold meats, salads, and cheeses, followed by chocolate cake—all her favourites. She found plates and knives. From a drawer, she plucked a serrated knife for the baguette, and a smaller, sharper one to slice the tomatoes and cucumber.

  “Oh my God, this looks amazing,” she said as she got to work slicing the salad, while Haiden cut the baguette into chunks. “You’re really spoiling me.”

  “You deserve to be spoiled,” he said, turning his gaze on her. His tone grew serious. “I mean it. After everything you’ve been through recently, it’s important someone else takes care of you for a change.”

  Her face burned. “I don’t do anything any other woman doesn’t do.”

  “Yes, you do.” He paused and then said, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  Her stomach twisted. She hoped this wasn’t going to be bad news. It had all felt like it was going so well there for a moment. She should have known it wasn’t going to last.

  “I want you to know that I’ll do anything to make you happy, Kristen. I think we have something really special here.”

  She gave him a smile. “So do I.”

  “I don’t think you’re really hearing me. I’m trying to tell you that I’ll change my plans for you.”

  She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “I know our relationship will make things difficult for you with the university housing, and I’m due to go back to Sweden after this semester. But what about if I didn’t go? What about if I was no longer a part of the university either?”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Are you talking about staying here? Quitting your master’s degree, too?”

  “Yes, if you want me to. I can move in with you as your boyfriend instead. And if I’m no longer studying, they can’t complain about us being together.”

  “Wow. I mean... that’s a big step. We haven’t known each other for long.”

  “I know that, but when it’s right, it’s right. Don’t you think?”

  She didn’t know what to think. He’d thrown this at her from out of nowhere. “I mean, I can see it being a solution, but it’s still early days, and I wouldn’t want you to give up your studies because of me. And what about your family?”

  The family you haven’t spoken to since you’ve been here.

  He gave a half laugh. “I’m an adult, Kristen. I don’t need to ask my family’s permission to do something.”

  “No, of course not. But I still need to think about Ollie. Times have been hard lately, and I have to consider how this will affect him.”

  He huffed out a breath of exasperation. “Ollie is fine. You worry about him too much. It’s not as though I’m not living there, anyway.”

  “But that’s different. Ollie’s never known me to be with anyone except for his dad.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “The dad who’s already married and has a child with someone else, you mean?”

  She sighed. “Yes, I know it’s double standards.”

  “You’re allowed to have a life, too, Kristen. You’re allowed to have a future.”

  “A future with you?”

  “Why the hell not?”

  She gestured towards him. “You’re so young. You don’t want to be tied down with some single m
other.”

  He pursed his lips and shook his head. “That’s not how I think of you.”

  “Maybe not, but that’s how I have to think of myself. I can’t just jump into a relationship without thinking things through, and I can’t ignore the fact you’re ten years younger than I am.”

  “Eight,” he corrected.

  “Okay, eight, and that you don’t even live in this country. I can’t build Ollie up to believing there’s someone permanent in his life, only for that person to get bored and leave us.”

  His tone hardened again. “So, you’re saying the only person who’s standing between us is Ollie?”

  She didn’t like how that sounded at all, cool flickers of fear trickling down her spine.

  “Let’s change the subject,” she said, turning her attention back to lunch, even though her appetite had all but vanished. The champagne had gone to her head, too, leaving her woozy. She wanted to enjoy their time together, but instead she found herself to be anxious about the future.

  She was aware of the weight of her phone in her pocket. She wanted to call home and check up on Ollie, but she knew Haiden would get shitty with her if she did. Her unease deepened. She shouldn’t be with someone who was going to complain about her checking up on her son. He’d never been like that before, always more than happy to accommodate Ollie. Why the sudden change of heart?

  Or was this normal? Would most men want her to set Ollie aside and focus on them instead? Were they naturally selfish creatures? She knew Stephen had been, but she certainly didn’t want to tar everyone with the same brush. Perhaps she was obsessing about her home life too much. Haiden had gone to all this effort for her and had worn his heart on his sleeve, and she was the one making things difficult.

  She forced a smile. “Let’s eat, shall we? We could take it out on the patio so we can look at the view.”

  “Sure.” He looked sullen, though, as though he was sulking, and a frisson of irritation shot through her.

  She picked up her glass and took another swig of champagne, determined to have a good time. How had this all turned around so quickly? She put the salad and bread into a bowl and carried it outside so they could eat on the patio. Haiden followed with the hams and cheeses.